Funny Craigslist Postings

The Website “Craigslist” is notorious for the “personal ads” and “sex hook-ups”, but did you know that there is much more to Craigslist than just smut?

photo from: eatliver.com

Oh yes! It is a mother-load of information, such as job postings, community, housing, discussion forums, of course personals, and on and on.

When you are bored and need a good laugh, well that is the site to go to. What? You ask. Well, these aren’t just any old “personals” or “ads”, no, these are the most hilarious and bizarre notices you will ever read!  Some of them are so weird, you will not believe what you are reading. Yes, it is THAT good.

A word of caution, this site is also known for scams, and there is ample information on their site about protecting yourself from getting duped. Basically, use common sense.

If you have never checked it out, here is the site: http://www.craigslist.org/about/sites

So here are a few postings I found to be extra funny….enjoy!

Insanely Aggressive, Territorial, Guard Duck, (Muscovy)

Hello.

This posting is about “MR. DUCKY.” When he was a chick, he was my favorite out of the entire flock. He was one of the few ducks that would gently nibble on my finger. He would always let me pet him and feed him spinach. Now he has become a horrible monster of a duck. His nibble has turned into a skin-tearing instrument, his feet have turned into painful, skin-piercing talons. Anything moving in the yard that is non-duck, he attacks. He attacks raccoons. He attacks dogs. He attacks cats. Now he even attacks full-grown humans, galloping around the yard with clipped wings like some sort of maniac. Sandals are out of the picture now, unless I want scabs on my feet. This was semi-tolerable for a while, but now he can inflict a fair amount of pain on my calf through my work jeans, and I can’t get anything done in my back yard. So this is my ad. If you want a duck that will scare/maim/fight any animal that might be threatening your flock, MR. DUCKY is the craziest damn duck I have ever seen in my entire life. He is only friendly with ducks. I don’t know about chickens, but he charges crows or other birds that land in the yard. He is a great guard duck. I have a newborn son that I want to have ten fingers growing up. $40 OBO, MR.DUCKY. Upon pickup, feel free to observe his behavior. He is one-of-a-kind.
Call: 253-[deleted] I live in Bremerton, will deliver.

Free stuffed walrus head

This walrus head has been in my family for years. I have never liked it. It was given to me by my father in his will. I’m sure it’s his idea of a way to get back at me for my alternative lifestyle that he never approved of. I’m going to throw this in the dumpster if I don’t get rid of it by the end of the week. I can’t even sleep with this thing in my house so I’ll be awake all night, feel free to give me a call at any time to let me know when you can come pick it up. CJ 435-[deleted]

Location: St George

Orange Popsicles

Okay, it’s Craigslist. One day you can have free fill dirt (you haul), the next day it’s tons of moving boxes all in good shape.

Well, today it’s orange popsicles (all in good shape, you haul).

A regular box of popsicles includes cherry (my favorite), grape (so-so) and orange. I don’t like the orange ones. I’m a grown-up and I don’t have to eat them if I don’t want to. On the other hand I can’t bring myself to throw them away and I don’t have children or grandchildren living in the area to give them to (assuming they would like them).

I currently have a bunch of orange popsicles in my freezer. If you want them,, let me know. If you are paranoid about them, you probably shouldn’t be looking for free things on Craigslist in the first place. However, keep in mind they are all “factory sealed” and whoever takes them probably isn’t going to end up on the 6:00 news because they were poisoned to death by orange popsicles.

Someone is going to want these things, so you better hurry. If things work out, maybe we could develop a “popsicles are ready for pickup” relationship whereby I send you an E-mail whenever the freezer overfloweth.

Keep in mind that a box of 24 popsicles costs about $4.50 and you are only getting 1/3 of a box…or in this case 1/3 of several boxes. The point is I don’t think you should consider driving from Estes Park for the orange popsicles. However, if you do and you are first, I will give them to you.

FAQ:

Q: Are the orange popsicles sugar free?
A: Do I SOUND like someone why buys sugar free popsicles? No, they aren’t.

Q. How many orange popsicles are currently available?
A. As of 3:15 on 1/27 I have 17 of them.

First person to respond gets all of them!

• Location: Lafayette

Personal Assistant 1 hr/day 8am wanted

I want to get out of the house and workout everyday. I need help motivating my body to walk out the door. I need someone to come ring the doorbell and tell me to get out of the house to go for a run, hike, kayak or such.

It should only take a week of this to get me motivated enough to go on my own.

• Location: Redmond

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Interesting Signs

Have you ever seen a sign and thought to  yourself, “that is just too funny, or weird, or disturbing”?  I am one of those people who takes pictures of things that strike me as bizarre (typically it is a sign).

Here are a few of my favorites……..

This was on the campus where I went to college. I think it is both funny and disturbing.

 The strange thing is there were many park benches thoughout the campus….enticing one to sit and possibly become a target for these “predators”.

While walking along in New Orleans, I spotted this.

I have no idea what kind of store or establishment this is….the “no drugs”…..now I’m thinking I should have checked it out.

Clever advertising.....also in New Orleans.

 

Tiny Terrors.....how funny.

I just love the vulture in this last one.  Do you think if you bought a gift from this store and gave it to a friend (for their kid), that they would be offended?

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