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Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Check out this cool short story….

Source: https://wordsbymgo.wordpress.com/

 

Enjoy!
Trisho

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The Website “Craigslist” is notorious for the “personal ads” and “sex hook-ups”, but did you know that there is much more to Craigslist than just smut?

photo from: eatliver.com

Oh yes! It is a mother-load of information, such as job postings, community, housing, discussion forums, of course personals, and on and on.

When you are bored and need a good laugh, well that is the site to go to. What? You ask. Well, these aren’t just any old “personals” or “ads”, no, these are the most hilarious and bizarre notices you will ever read!  Some of them are so weird, you will not believe what you are reading. Yes, it is THAT good.

A word of caution, this site is also known for scams, and there is ample information on their site about protecting yourself from getting duped. Basically, use common sense.

If you have never checked it out, here is the site: http://www.craigslist.org/about/sites

So here are a few postings I found to be extra funny….enjoy!


Insanely Aggressive, Territorial, Guard Duck, (Muscovy)

Hello.

This posting is about “MR. DUCKY.” When he was a chick, he was my favorite out of the entire flock. He was one of the few ducks that would gently nibble on my finger. He would always let me pet him and feed him spinach. Now he has become a horrible monster of a duck. His nibble has turned into a skin-tearing instrument, his feet have turned into painful, skin-piercing talons. Anything moving in the yard that is non-duck, he attacks. He attacks raccoons. He attacks dogs. He attacks cats. Now he even attacks full-grown humans, galloping around the yard with clipped wings like some sort of maniac. Sandals are out of the picture now, unless I want scabs on my feet. This was semi-tolerable for a while, but now he can inflict a fair amount of pain on my calf through my work jeans, and I can’t get anything done in my back yard. So this is my ad. If you want a duck that will scare/maim/fight any animal that might be threatening your flock, MR. DUCKY is the craziest damn duck I have ever seen in my entire life. He is only friendly with ducks. I don’t know about chickens, but he charges crows or other birds that land in the yard. He is a great guard duck. I have a newborn son that I want to have ten fingers growing up. $40 OBO, MR.DUCKY. Upon pickup, feel free to observe his behavior. He is one-of-a-kind.
Call: 253-[deleted] I live in Bremerton, will deliver.

Free stuffed walrus head

This walrus head has been in my family for years. I have never liked it. It was given to me by my father in his will. I’m sure it’s his idea of a way to get back at me for my alternative lifestyle that he never approved of. I’m going to throw this in the dumpster if I don’t get rid of it by the end of the week. I can’t even sleep with this thing in my house so I’ll be awake all night, feel free to give me a call at any time to let me know when you can come pick it up. CJ 435-[deleted]

Location: St George

Orange Popsicles

Okay, it’s Craigslist. One day you can have free fill dirt (you haul), the next day it’s tons of moving boxes all in good shape.

Well, today it’s orange popsicles (all in good shape, you haul).

A regular box of popsicles includes cherry (my favorite), grape (so-so) and orange. I don’t like the orange ones. I’m a grown-up and I don’t have to eat them if I don’t want to. On the other hand I can’t bring myself to throw them away and I don’t have children or grandchildren living in the area to give them to (assuming they would like them).

I currently have a bunch of orange popsicles in my freezer. If you want them,, let me know. If you are paranoid about them, you probably shouldn’t be looking for free things on Craigslist in the first place. However, keep in mind they are all “factory sealed” and whoever takes them probably isn’t going to end up on the 6:00 news because they were poisoned to death by orange popsicles.

Someone is going to want these things, so you better hurry. If things work out, maybe we could develop a “popsicles are ready for pickup” relationship whereby I send you an E-mail whenever the freezer overfloweth.

Keep in mind that a box of 24 popsicles costs about $4.50 and you are only getting 1/3 of a box…or in this case 1/3 of several boxes. The point is I don’t think you should consider driving from Estes Park for the orange popsicles. However, if you do and you are first, I will give them to you.

FAQ:

Q: Are the orange popsicles sugar free?
A: Do I SOUND like someone why buys sugar free popsicles? No, they aren’t.

Q. How many orange popsicles are currently available?
A. As of 3:15 on 1/27 I have 17 of them.

First person to respond gets all of them!

  • Location: Lafayette

Personal Assistant 1 hr/day 8am wanted

I want to get out of the house and workout everyday. I need help motivating my body to walk out the door. I need someone to come ring the doorbell and tell me to get out of the house to go for a run, hike, kayak or such.

It should only take a week of this to get me motivated enough to go on my own.

  • Location: Redmond

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It is that time when we reflect on how our life has played out…… for yet another year. There have been studies that show it is in January and February that most divorces occur. Perhaps this is because we do not want to be the one to “ruin” Christmas, or we don’t want to be alone on New Years, but for whatever reason…..after all the holiday cheer, reality sets in and we decide it is time for a major change, as we discover we are not happy.

 

I really like the following quote:

 

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

 

 

From the movie, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” 2008

 

 

I would like to add that besides “strength”, there would need to be “courage” to “start all over again”.

 

Life is short, so, as you reflect upon your life so far, choose “happiness” for yourself, and do whatever it takes to achieve it.

 

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Third place goes to Greece:

Second place goes to Serbia:

And the winner of husband of the year is!……..Ireland!:

Aahhh…..the Irish are true romantics!  Look, he’s even holding her hand!

Runner ups…….

And now I leave this funny quote:

LADY ASTOR:  “If you were my husband, Winston, I’d put poison in your tea.”  WINSTON CHURCHILL:  “If I were your husband, Nancy, I’d drink it”

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I have been thinking about the current administration leading our country, and the people who President Obama surrounds himself with. One in particular I would like to talk about is Rahm Emanuel, Chief of Staff to Obama. Has come under fire for his lack of self-control and frequent outbursts recently…..basically he is a “hot head”.

 It bothers me that there is a lack of good character, or “class” in regards to our leaders.  Well what does this mean?   Here are a couple of quotes to read and think about regarding this issue. 

Nothing is more essential to the establishment of manners in a State than that all persons employed in places of power and trust must be men of unexceptionable characters.”

 Samuel Adams, letter to James Warren on the subject of Character, November 4, 1775

It is the manners and spirit of a people which preserve a republic in vigor. A degeneracy in these is a canker which soon eats to the heart of its laws and constitution.”

 Thomas Jefferson, notes on Virginia Query 19, regarding character, 1781.

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I have  decided that my life has become too boring and mundane.  I suppose everyone goes through this feeling that “everyday is exactly the same”, and just how brutal it can be when you think to yourself, “This is it?”  Ok world, I didn’t sign up for this….life is supposed to be fun, exciting, full of surprises (the good kind, not the bad kind), and on and on……right?

So, I’ve been thinking that the perfect solution would be an angsty boyfriend…..and the reason, well, wouldn’t that just add some fresh new perspective, having someone who is almost, but not quite unstable into my life?  And the beauty would be because he is just my boyfriend, when I’m tired of his bizarre hatred of everything, and angsty mood…..well I can just tell him to go away.  In the mean time, wouldn’t it be a great way to put some “spice” into my life!

The long process of finding just the perfect angsty boyfriend.

It would be ideal if he would not be around all the time…..as I really don’t know how much “attitude” I can handle (me being the meek, and quiet type).  Even though I am reserved and quiet, I do enjoy alternative music, especially Nine Inch Nails.

I find that when I clean, or do boring housework…..well nothing helps me like listening to Trent Reznor screaming,

“I wake up
On the floor
Start it up again
Like it matters anymore
I don’t know
If it does
Is this really all
That there ever was?……

I feel a million miles away
I don’t feel any thing at all”

This is partial lyrics from his album, “The Slip”, released in 2008, song titled “million miles away”.

 

Album- The Slip

 

To listen to the song (a remix)…..just copy and paste the link below:

http://remix.nin.com/play/mix?id=13283


I like to daydream about being a million miles away on some Carribean Island, or in southern France….maybe in the Loire Valley….checking out all the Castles and great wine……hmmmm….yes.

The reason I decided that Mr. Reznor would be the perfect guy for this is because I enjoy his “tormented music” so much, and he travels a lot, so the issue of him being around all the time would be solved….(throw in some intermittent time of peace and quiet while he is gone).  Plus the benefits….. I would probably get to go to his concerts for free….even be a VIP and meet the band!

The other thing that really “sealed the deal” for me is the fact that he even has a song titled, “Every Day Is Exactly The Same”   This guy would have to understand the service he would be providing for me by changing my life so it would NOT be exactly the same!!!

To listen to this song, copy and paste this into your browser:

http://remix.nin.com/play/mix?id=143


Other Reasons Mr. Reznor Would Be A Good Angsty Boyfriend.

Well, I did have to do some research….so here is what I found:

He Cleans.

Please note the toilet scrubber in his hand in this picture.   That is really a turn on  for me….a man who cleans, he is on the far left.

He has unusual fans.

 

I'm so excited!

 

He likes to play hide and seek.

 

I see you

 

I know this is kind of weird….a grown man who likes to play hide and seek….but I’m trying to have an open mind and realize that everyone has a quirky side to them.

He is not afraid to ask other men about fashion when shopping.

 

What do you think about these shoes?

 


And…..most of all….he is  Angsty.

 

"I'd rather die.....than give you control!"

 

Now I just have to convince my husband…..and Trent Reznor, that this would be a good idea.

Wish me luck.

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