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Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

As you may or may not know, I got to celebrate the 4th by going to watch the “ponies” race, eat non-healthy food, see monkeys riding dogs while herding sheep, and the finale of huge blasts of wonderful fire-works!

I’m not a big gambler, but when I’m at a place of gambling…..well, lets just say I do my fair share.  I really do enjoy the horse races, and I particularly like the part where they march the horses out for you to see what they look like before the race.  I think horses are pretty, and pretty scary at the same time.  I really admire how those tiny little jockeys aren’t afraid of the horses…..how do they do it? I also like the fact that when jockeys are around, I seem to be much taller.

Lets face it, people go to the races for the chance of winning big.  If you think of it, where else can you go and place a $2.00 or $6.00 bet, and turn that into hundreds or even thousands of dollars?  The only thing I don’t like about the races, is the fact that I don’t have enough time in between the races to make a good decision on the next race, and pick my horses.  I take my betting seriously, as I hate to waste my money, so I also don’t spend alot of time socializing (like you are supposed to do), and enjoying myself.

Before each race, I am in a frenzy reading and trying to figure out what bet will bring me the motherload.  My plan is simple….I look at which horse has won the most money in the past, and sometimes I also look at  which jockey has done the best.  Between those two things, I make my decision.

This doesn’t always work though….as I found there was a race that they had NO statistics for their winnings.  I guess it was their first race of the year, so I just picked the names I liked the most (very scientific…lol).

I always play Trifectas, as those seem to pay the most (why win $20 when you can win hundreds? duh).  Note: always take only the amount of money you are willing to lose.

My big win was the fourth race with “Dashin Too Hi”, “Master Injun”, and “Another Fast Colt”….those ponies won me $126.00….yea!  So it was a fun evening, and at least I walked away with the same amount I came in with.

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I find it interesting that some people are “dog” people, and some are “cat” people.  Both have their reasons why they prefer one over the other, and personally, I’m a “cat” person.  I like “some” dogs, and I stress “some” as when it comes to dogs….well they can be annoying.  They drool, slobber, jump on you, some are “yippy” “nervous”, they all “smell” like a dog, some are too clingy, or needy, and I just don’t like that they are generally like a small child (a very hairy child at that).
On the other end of the spectrum….cats are just cool.  They know how to take care of themselves, they are independent, most are not very loud,  they have the attitude that they are in charge, and are allowing you to be a part of their world.  Their purr is quite soothing when you pet them (they don’t knock you over with their tail like big dogs do).  So I encourage you to read the following ….and I believe you will agree….cats rule.
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY

DAY 752 –
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 –
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair … must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 –
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was … Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 –

I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 –

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes
they call “beer”. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
“allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 –

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

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